My last blog post was the end of 2013, and I had mentioned being in a transitional phase. A lot has changed in the time I was away from this blog.
Doll making has been a journey, I started because I wanted more options out there for Asian and mixed children. I have always loved art, working with my hands and also children, so it was easy to fall into. I started to become part of the craft community and it was lovely. Being far from my family, I wanted to build a community around myself. Then a door got shut in my face and another and it was hard trying to find connections with other mothers. You know what is also hard, being rejected for my beliefs. I felt pretty lonely in that time, and I felt very outside of everything I was trying to build.
Luckily I have a really great husband that reminded me of a small dream I had started, he told me, maybe those doors had been shut because it’s time to leave it behind.
My family had grown bigger than I had expected, my oldest son was learning at a fierce rate, and my second son was getting ready for school. I was really starting to get focused on healthy eating for my whole family. I was sharing books with my children, I have always loved children’s books, so we were all in the right place together. I started the Little Free Library, and I had also started a little project called The Kaleidoscope.
When my first son began reading, it was like magic, I felt like my childhood was being reborn and I was also like I was getting a new chance. It felt like I was getting a chance to readjust my life, like a reset button. I turned all my focus onto literacy, and my children and I began working on a dream. I was still making dolls but only for local shops or the occasional request. I also started to focus on my health by going to spin classes, and running again, and then I picked up yoga. I studied food, and neurology, and life unfolded in quite a beautiful way. Things were coming together and it felt much better and more in balance than it ever had.
Doll making was right for my life for a season but that season had ended. I met wonderful people, and learned so many skills but I think it was a stepping stone to what I was meant to do. I had been teaching the entire time and I started drawing again, and painting more. Wood dolls are a great canvas to pick up and put down with little ones around. Not buying fabric, and not having time for sewing, made me realize, I had too much. With all the freeing changes happening, we also started to minimize our lives. Living as a family of 6 in Vancouver, minimalism is almost forced. If you want a clean, uncluttered house with four little ones running around, you have to learn to purge. The less we had, the more time we had. I cannot explain this one but it is true. We started spending more time outdoors, part of this was also because my children were all a bit older now. If you want you can read more about that here.
My oldest son gave a TEDTalk in November, and I am so glad I stepped back and refocused so that we could be at a place where I could foster that for him. I might be found at a fair here and there with my boy. I have a few more projects I am working on, and you probably won’t find me here because it’s time to move on. My dolls will be found at select shops. You can find me on Instagram here, with a post here and always here.
Life is a journey, and I adapt with the changes I go through with life and with my growing children, but the constant will always be children. You will always find me inspiring or being inspired by children because that is my heart and soul. I have always wanted to make an impact in the lives of children, and be a part of something greater than myself.
I still have a desire for community and I have been taking the steps, which require bravery, to get there. I am going to keep putting myself out there. I have met some pretty wonderful people through the Instagram community and connections through the craft community and my goal this year is to be braver about making real connections.
Those doors that were shut, actually freed me.